🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into canned food and shotguns.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, articulate, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that swarms Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound life advice. Honestly, listen to my reasoning.

When things go bad, the most counterproductive action you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, most of the fang-bearing creatures that inhabit Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same sly, self-aware comic sensibility regarding the indistinct border separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that strikes the deepest chord.

An Early Life Fascination

Naturally, my connection with this movie wasn’t born on such an deeply thoughtful note. Growing up, we only had a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and boasting snarling creatures on its knackered cover. I was right away smitten and these films did not delay embedding themselves inside my small, malleable brain. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s first film typically gets all the plaudits, thanks primarily due to its reputation as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. However, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d lock myself inside and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it became deeply rooted in my mental framework. If my parents noticed this obsession, they appeared unbothered.

Deeper Discoveries and Cultural Nuggets

As I matured, new revelations enhanced frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching small emerald creatures joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his second wife Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his real-life counterpart.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was modeled after a genuine “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world really ended. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film different iterations of a meta sequence where Gremlins hijack the exact movie you are viewing. An edit for movie houses, another for home video and television, each providing a grinning portion of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy prior to the concept being mainstream.

A Persistent Influence

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. Ultimately, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no reservations revealing to me he made the movie with the specific aim of ridiculing those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This anarchic rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I experienced a sudden family bereavement earlier this year, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Perhaps not. The nostalgic calm it provided was necessary to dilute my mind’s sadness sludge – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just are powerless over. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s strong life advice from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my feelgood film.